In April, 2010, when Andrew was 2 1/2, a tumor was discovered behind his eye. The tumor was removed, but it was found to be an aggressive cancer. He endured seven months of chemo and six weeks radiation. In December of 2010, the day after his last treatment, he was rushed to the ER with an almost fatal bacterial infection. He survived.

He is now seven-years-old!! I don't visit here much, because during the ordeal, this is where I dumped everything--my rage, my fear, my sadness, my ugly, my hope, my everything. But I want all of you who supported and prayed for us to hear his updates. You helped me survive, and I am deeply thankful. Every once in awhile, I will check in to let you know how he's doing. Please continue to pray that cancer will never return to his body. Thank you.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

my precious

his pink cheeks have paled
his sweet hair is gone
his chest is painful; hugs have become cautious
his eyes have saddened, one droops slightly
his smile is obscured, too often
his mouth hurts; he cries
his gums and lips bleed
his fingers pick; they are nervous
his body imprisoned, hidden from germs, and playgrounds, and friends

my heart rages.
my lips are disgusted.
my gut rants.
my eyes flow.
my stomach rejects.
my heart and my eyes anguish with each glance
my mind tries to console, and reason, and reflect.
my soul hopes
my spirit prays

his toes are still the same toes;
his eyelashes are still long, and beautiful
his spirit is still alive, and singing
his body is still dancing
his laugh is forcing it's way through the pain, determined
his joy is stronger than chemo
his play will not be disrupted
his hope is unquestioning
his mind is slowly accepting
he is coping

better than i

i want to punch someone
I want to punch someone over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again,
hate is creeping in

but there is no one to blame.

so THIS is pain.

we are doing our best
I am his comfort
he is my prayer;
he is my hope;

he is my precious.


  1. beautiful and heart-wrenching at the same time. praying for you, cousin.

  2. Beautiful poem Julie! Thinking of you.

  3. Just beautiful.
    We are all thinking of you and your whole family.

  4. Julie, This is such a truthful, beautiful poem... (((hugs)))

  5. Oh, Julie, this is lovely and terrible all at the same time. I'm sending healing thoughts to your precious boy tonight.

  6. Beautiful. My heart hurts for you and your precious boy.

  7. In my prayers!!!! Really & Truly.

  8. and i am in tears
    for you
    and your precious

    but if you give me a target
    i'd punch it all day
    for the both of you


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