In April, 2010, when Andrew was 2 1/2, a tumor was discovered behind his eye. The tumor was removed, but it was found to be an aggressive cancer. He endured seven months of chemo and six weeks radiation. In December of 2010, the day after his last treatment, he was rushed to the ER with an almost fatal bacterial infection. He survived.

He is now seven-years-old!! I don't visit here much, because during the ordeal, this is where I dumped everything--my rage, my fear, my sadness, my ugly, my hope, my everything. But I want all of you who supported and prayed for us to hear his updates. You helped me survive, and I am deeply thankful. Every once in awhile, I will check in to let you know how he's doing. Please continue to pray that cancer will never return to his body. Thank you.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Out for Coffee

Good Morning!!

If we were actually meeting for coffee this morning, 
we would be meeting somewhere other than my home
 Maybe a cute bakery/coffee shop with yummy scones, muffins, and pastries?
I would order an iced, decaf, cafe latte and a gooey cherry turnover.

As you watched me get up to meet you,
you might understand my need for an outside venue. 
I'm walking like I'm 95 years old.  My back hurts SO bad. 
I need someone else to make the coffee and the goodies...

and clean the house.

It is probably from carrying this little guy

and a huge bag of supplies
("Max and Ruby" videos, coloring books, markers)
everywhere I go. 
And if I am not carrying him, he is holding my hand
and jumping
over cracks in the sidewalk,
or over the orange tiles (to the get to the yellow tiles),
or  lifting both of his feet off the ground
and hanging onto my arm
without any notice. 

 I am glad he has so much energy...
but yank, jerk, yank, jerk. 
My poor back.

We might talk about our aches and pains for a while,
until we felt old
and stopped.

Then I might try not to whine
that John was out of town all last week at a client,
while I was home alone with my bad back
and three wacky little boys
who never stop moving (ahhh!!!)
and how I was about to go
 cuckoo for cocoa puffs...
but somehow survived.

And I might tell you how I am so on edge this morning.
I found myself scolding a five-year-old for laughing at Andrew's bald head.
I scolded him loudly.  In front of three other five-year-old boys,
and his nanny.
They needed to hear it.
But I was shaking afterwards.

Then I forgot it was "plant day" at Sammy's school.
So once I signed him in, I went to the store and bought a plant.

I brought it to the classroom (20 minutes later) and found that he had already planted
a different plant.
Normally, this wouldn't phase me.
But today...
I felt like crying.

So I need this coffee break!!!

The good news is that the weather is cooler
The storm we had last week was followed up
with a sequel of golfball-sized hail
and more wind.
It was so fun.
We (I) sat in our driveway and watched it come down. 

The boys played in the hail until it started to make welts on their skin.

I might tell you that we were supposed to be in the hospital yesterday (and today),
but Andrew's blood hasn't fully recovered from the last chemo round.
Too few platelets
(his blood doesn't clot like it is supposed to due to the chemo).
So instead we (they) climbed trees
and played in the sand
and rode scooters
and swung on the swings
(and hoped Andrew wouldn't bruise himself!)
He didn't!

(This picture looks so sweet and nice
but it was right before they both started screaming
and hitting each other.
Someone sat in the other's freshly dug hole, or something.)

I might mention that I am still listening to the Wailin' Jennys nonstop
and driving my husband bonkers :).
(It is in my car, and in my kitchen, and on my ipod...)
I tell him it is my coping mechanism
and it could be worse.
Much worse.
I try to turn it down when he's around. :)

I might ask what music you play when you need soothing. 

As we were finishing up,
and you walked,
 and I hobbled towards the door
I would once again
thank you for coming
and tell you how much I enjoyed
this time
and this coffee
and you.

join me for coffee!.jpg>


  1. Oh, Julie, this post makes me want to both laugh and cry. I'm sorry you're hurting. The back pain really can get to one! I hope it gets better soon. Although with such an active 3 yr old, you might need some chiropractor time to help you recover.

    They look so cute and innocent. But everyone knows that can change in an instant. ;)

    Hope Andrew's platelets come up soon.

    Take care, my friend.

  2. OMG 3 year olds and their never ending jumping up and down and over (and over and under) cracks! lmao! Domo is in that mood, too. So I would most certainly be interested in having someone else clean and cook, too. If we were having tea and oatmeal cookies (cause all of a sudden that sounds yummy) I would tell you that my back hurts, too. We're Old Julie, let's face it! lol...

    And being a business trip widow sucks. I hear you. ((hugs)) I listen to Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin when I need to veg. Call me old... OH wait you already did!

    I hope that Andrew's platelets come up soon, too.

    See you next Tuesday for coffee or tea chica :)

  3. Can we have that coffee date at a spa so that you can get a back massage while we chat? I think you deserve it - this week and every week!

  4. Oh crap. I'm sorry your back hurts. If I met you for coffee I would send you straight from there to see a friend of mine who works magic with acupuncture. Honestly - I was COMPLETELY skeptical, but he fixed me up in 2-3 days.

    I'm glad John's back... I think you should go close your bedroom door, take a couple of muscle relaxants, put on your Wailin' Jennys and give yourself a much deserved time out!

  5. I hope your back feels better soon, you poor thing!! I would love to sit with you at a little coffee place... I'd hand you tissues and laugh about your music obsession ;)

  6. oh girl... i would love to meet you for coffee. and to hug your little boy and play with him so you could go shopping or have a break... i'm praying. loving you. e.

  7. Oh, Julie. Just so ya know, if we were really metting for coffee I would have a quick cup with you and then tell you to GO HOME and lay down while I took the boys home with me for the day. I would! I have recurring back problems(on and off) and it is just miserable.....I'm so sorry!
    And the plant thing? That is totally something I would do. Sigh. Scones and a skinny mocha sounds great. Thanks for joining in for coffee this week...
    the LINK is up now!

  8. If we met for coffee I would be sympathizing in my agony with you - I carried my three year old 34lb daughter all around Target on Monday and then yesterday as I bent down to pick her up once again felt my lower back "ping" and have been hobbling around ever since. I only now realize, as I tell my daughter I can't pick her up or hold her over the sink just how many times a day I lift her up and down. My aging back is not up to the task any more :-) My husband was away for ten days so last week was a tough one for me too. It would be so very nice if we could all join Amy for coffee one week.

    I love your photos, it must be a delight for you to see Andrew playing in the hail and dirt, a happy boy. I hope his platelet levels come up soon.

  9. What I wouldn't give to meet you for coffee! I have to say music is my solace too. Have you tried pandora(dot)com where you can create your own station? You could make a Wailin' Jennys station! I have a DMB station that I listen to every single day to get me through. :)

    PS. Love the new look!

  10. Sorry about your back pain. I can sympathize...

    I love the story behind the hole digging picture. So funny. You'll have to take an "after" pic next time!

  11. Hey, let's hobble around together. Griffin will be four in nov. and he still suckers me into carrying him, instead of saying "pick me up" he just puts his arms up and says "love you" which means pick me up, and I fall for it every time. I hope you have better days coming your way! And the plant story...big hug for that one. :)

  12. Oh I hope your back feels better :(
    and that your little guy's plateletes go up where they need to be.

  13. I sympathize about your back! Especially when there are little ones who hang on you! The mama bear in me growled when I read you had to scold a child for laughing at your son's bald head. GRRR! I used to get so angry when people would make comments about my youngest brother riding in a stroller at age 5 - he couldn't walk yet because he has cerebral palsy. People can be so insensitive. Hopefully having (virtual) coffee has helped a little bit this week!

  14. Oh honey, we can hobble around together. Sounds like a crazy week-- I hope this one gets a little more sane for you. I would have cried about the plant too, in case you wondered. :)

  15. They did need to hear it. Good for you.


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