In April, 2010, when Andrew was 2 1/2, a tumor was discovered behind his eye. The tumor was removed, but it was found to be an aggressive cancer. He endured seven months of chemo and six weeks radiation. In December of 2010, the day after his last treatment, he was rushed to the ER with an almost fatal bacterial infection. He survived.

He is now seven-years-old!! I don't visit here much, because during the ordeal, this is where I dumped everything--my rage, my fear, my sadness, my ugly, my hope, my everything. But I want all of you who supported and prayed for us to hear his updates. You helped me survive, and I am deeply thankful. Every once in awhile, I will check in to let you know how he's doing. Please continue to pray that cancer will never return to his body. Thank you.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Time for a Coffee Break

I have so enjoyed dropping in on others for virtual "coffee,"
 I decided to return the favor.
My life and my blog have been serious for quite awhile. 
 I am in desperate need of a coffee break!! 

So here goes:

If we were actually meeting for coffee, this would be the music
playing as you entered my front door.
Hopefully the volume would be set just right:

I would later tell you that I just can't seem to get enough of this group.
  They soothe my soul. 
I love their harmonies and melodies.

In contrast to the mellow music, you would also be greeted
by three small, but nutty dogs who are desperate for attention,
and literally clamoring for it. 
I would apologize frequently, and shoo them away.
But they don't ever always listen.

So, red-faced, I would lead you into one of my favorite spots in the house. 
My favorite...but it is rarely used for anything other than
piles of clean laundry,  hide-n-seek, and boys gymnastics.

You can see, even now, that the ottoman is off-center. 
It has wheels... on a hard wood floor. 
 Imagine the sheer joy of my three boys. 
Imagine my perfectionistic frustration. 

As we sit down, you should not be surprised
if a little bald head pops out from under your chair, 
attempting to scare you with a giant R-O-A-R!! 
We will be sitting on his favorite hiding spot.
He might also tell you how he "rode down the rainbow and fell to earth." 
 He is obsessed with Mario Kart and thinks everyone else is too.

If we were to truly have coffee, it would be one of those lucky days when Andrew and I are both at home, breathing a sigh of relief
that he doesn't need chemo, or blood,
or anything else for the moment. 
We are free to just be. 
 An amazing luxury.

I might tell you about the beautiful double rainbow we saw yesterday, and how we played in the rain while it poured. 

And how I wish I had more time to learn about my camera settings so I could have done the rainbow justice.

The coffee would be from Starbucks;
I would have called you first to get your order. 
We only have decaf in the house. 
 "Regular" makes my thoughts race and my fingers tremble. 
Even just one cup.
I might tell you that I am doing okay.  I am trying to live each day at a time,
and enjoy the sweetness of each moment. 
There is a terror that I live with everyday,
 but it is not going to disappear any time soon,
so I am trying to live

around it.

I would ask about your family (I would want to see pictures),
and where you are from,
and what your weather is like...
because until yesterday's rain,
it has been SO HOT I can hardly stand it. 
  I want some colorful leaves and crisp cool mornings. 
 I would want to live vicariously through your descriptions of fall.

And as we finished our last few sips,
and walked to the door,
I would tell you that I was so grateful for this time;
for this time of relaxing and sharing
and forgetting for a moment.

Thank you for coming, I'm so glad you could make it.

join me for coffee!.jpg>


  1. That spot in your house looks pretty :) And your Mario is so sweet!! So glad you joined in this week.

  2. I'd bring some banana bread that I just made Sunday. It is made with real butter. Hope you did your cardio today ;) lol! If we were getting together today for coffee I would enjoy your photos of the rainbows. I would also be jealous of your heat... and the fact that you are in arizona. Especially since my sobrina in Tucson is turning 3 this weekend. We would get all the kids together for a play date and it would be legendary.

    I'm just sayin. Crisp & cool is over-rated. Enjoy your Arizona heat! You get to brag when it is 20 below. ;)

  3. Yikes! I forgot the food! Thanks everyone for remembering for me :).

  4. Wouldn't it be lovely! I tend to not want to eat while sipping on my coffe so I'd be happy with just the coffee but I do love to bake so I might bring the boys some pumpking chocolate chip cookies! :)

  5. I enjoyed this coffee time. I felt like if we were truly having coffee together, we would have a lot to say! I identified with your statement "We are free to just be." Our older daughter was born with a heart defect and had her 2nd open heart surgery last fall. I think we could sit in that beautiful living room of yours and chat about our kids!

  6. mario makes my heart melt.
    thanks for sharing him with us, and for coming to have coffee with me!
    hoping for cooler days ahead for you to enjoy your decaf fall-style!



  7. Thank you for visiting my blog-- and sharing coffee with me. If I were coming to your house for coffee, I'd have a few meals along to tuck into your freezer. And it's possible I'd bring along some nail polish and give you a pedicure-- because mamas always need some pampering and I have a feeling you need it more than most. :)

  8. Living around it...I love that. It's been really nice having coffee with you. I'm so glad you joined in this week. Your little Mario has my heart and my prayers. Have a great week!

  9. Julie, I have invited myself for coffee (although I do not drink it, but can bring my cup of tee) because I wanted to tell you how moved and inspired I am by your honesty, strength, and courage ... And reading your posts I realized how sorry I am that I never really gotten to know you while in San Dimas... So, I am sending all of you my best energies, especially for Mario ;=)

  10. I'm sticking with the decaf during this pregnancy, but I'd stop by Starbucks on the way over and get you something with caffeine. And maybe something really indulgent and fattening. You deserve it, lady! I'd bring something for Mario and his brothers too. (I know the real Mario has a brother Luigi...maybe there's a third?) :)

    Oh, and you're welcome here anytime. We've got cool days and the beginnings of fall foliage!

  11. Oh, its always got to be decaf for me, too, otherwise I end up with a jumpy heart and shaky hands--even Starbucks decaf is too much caffeine! LOL

    beautiful rainbows! and I love that Mario costume!

  12. Me again...I linked to you in my post today...just wanted you to know. :)

  13. Gotta love Mario!
    I have a favorite place too that I would use if we were having coffee. It's the cleanest room in the house, unless the kids decide to have a nerf war, then it's littered with little orange bullets. :)

  14. Julie,

    This post was by far my favorite so far!

    It was beautifully written. So poetic. And honest. It also felt a bit indulgent! I loved the music (I just added them to my Pandora radio station!) and seeing the photo of your barely used but beautiful none the less "favorite spot." I loved everything about it. I hope you enjoyed writing it, as much we I enjoyed reading it!


  15. Oh Julie, what a wonderful post! I am delighted to meet you! Your pictures are fantastic, and your words touch my soul. Thank you for introducing me to Wailin Jennys, their music is so peaceful, their voices heavenly. I'm going to get a CD today! God Bless you and your family. You are a very special lady.

  16. I'd bring my two nutty attention-starved dogs, and we could laugh over who plays together better ... our boys or our pups! =>

    Glad you got that rainbow yesterday. Here's hoping for a few cool mornings!

  17. Loved having coffee with you (LATE!) I love all your photos and think that the rainbow pics are amazing. That sounds like a beautiful moment :D
    Hope that things quiet down for you more often!

  18. Oh! You know we have a lot in common! Who knew?
    I love your fire place and I am so glad you invited me for some joe. I can't believe you only drink decaf. Yikes.
    Anyway, need to take better pictures too. I feel like I'm a rotten blogger because I just point and shoot. Oh shoot. Oh well.
    Hope you're having a great week with your little bald guy. Tell him I love Mario Kart too. I'm always Bowser.

  19. I am just now getting around to all the coffee dates from last week : ) I am so glad you joined in this week! If you were picking up Starbucks I would have ordered a skinny mocha with light whipped cream and cinnamon powder..thanks for picking up! I would also tell you that I am sorry for what your little boy (and you) are going through. I cannot imagine the pain, stress and worry you all are dealing with. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs to you and I hope to see you for coffee next week!


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