Cereal, Chemo, and Conversations

I feel like I've been away forever!  It has only been a week.  

I've been busy.

I've been busy having conversations.

Conversations like this:

Me: "What do you want for breakfast?"

Andrew: "Cinnamon Toast Crunch"

Me: "We don't have any.  What else do you want?"

Andrew:  "Cinnamon Toast Crunch."

Me: "We are all out.  What else do you want?"

Andrew:  "Cinnamon Toast Crunch."

Me: "I wish I had some for you.  I will buy some today.  But WE ARE ALL OUT.  What else do you want?  We have Lucky Charms ( I know, I am trying to foist Lucky Charms on my child...what kind of mom does that?  A desperate one.).  How about Lucky Charms?"


Andrew:  "I want Cinnamon Toast Crunch!"

Me:  "How about Rice Chex.  With a little sugar?"

Andrew:   "NO. I want Cinnamon Toast Crunch!" (He breaks down in tears)

Me:  "How about Lucky Charms?"

Aaron:  "I want Rice Chex."

I get out the Rice Chex.   On top of the Rice Chex bag, I find an almost empty bag of CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH! Enough for one bowl!!


Me: "Andrew! I found Cinnamon Toast Crunch! Hooray!"

I pour it into his GREEN bowl (there were previous tears about bowl colors).

Andrew:  "NO!!"  (more tears)

Me : "What. do. you. want. Andrew?"

Andrew:  "Lucky Charms."

(Aaaahhh!!!)

Me:  "Does ANYONE want this Cinnamon Toast Crunch!?"

Sammy:  "I do."

I start to pour the CTC from Andrew's GREEN bowl to Sammy's RED bowl.

Andrew: "NO!"

Me:  "Andrew.  Do you want Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Lucky Charms?"

Andrew:  "Lucky Charms."

Me:  "Okay.  Then Sammy is going to have the Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  Okay?"

Andrew:  an almost imperceptible nod, tears still dripping

I pour the Cinnamon Toast Crunch into the RED bowl.  Lucky Charms into the GREEN bowl.  And Rice Chex into the ORANGE bowl. 

I breathe in. 

I breathe out.

I sit down with a brown bowl full of Wheat Chex (with a little sugar), bring the spoon up to my mouth, and...

All three boys:  "Can I have something to drink?"

(Aaaaahhhhh!!!!)

Are you exausted? and tired of the words "Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"

Because I am!!  This was just one of many conversations. 

Many of them are very sweet.

But some of them are so emotional it is hard to know how to handle them.

And I wonder...is this because of the chemo (he has been hooked up to tubes all week...)? or because he just turned three!?

Maybe a little of both.

(Aaaahhhh!!!!)

When I wasn't having prolonged conversations about cereal,
there were other activities to attend to. 

Some fun, some not so fun.



Halloween: Fun.

i am supposed to be Lucy Ricardo...but I couldn't stand the wig.





A pumpkin patch:  Fun.

Hanging out at the beach (oncology clinic) every day:  Fun decorations.  But not so fun.





Making germs (first grade homework):  Kinda fun.

And trying to clean a disaster of a house:  Not so fun.

I feel like I keep cleaning up, but it just gets messier and messier.  I put one dish away and two more are used.

(No pictures of THAT).

In fact, I really need to be cleaning my house instead of sitting here.

But here I sit.  Relaxing.  Because wow!  It has been a week!!

How have you been?  I wouldn't know because I haven't had time to check in!!

I will soon.  :)