In April, 2010, when Andrew was 2 1/2, a tumor was discovered behind his eye. The tumor was removed, but it was found to be an aggressive cancer. He endured seven months of chemo and six weeks radiation. In December of 2010, the day after his last treatment, he was rushed to the ER with an almost fatal bacterial infection. He survived.

He is now seven-years-old!! I don't visit here much, because during the ordeal, this is where I dumped everything--my rage, my fear, my sadness, my ugly, my hope, my everything. But I want all of you who supported and prayed for us to hear his updates. You helped me survive, and I am deeply thankful. Every once in awhile, I will check in to let you know how he's doing. Please continue to pray that cancer will never return to his body. Thank you.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

the last two miles

Almost at the finish line. 
I feel like I did near the end of my marathon in 1996. 
Focusing on the ground;
staring at my feet;
putting one foot in front of the other;
searching for a soothing song to sing to the beat of my footsteps;
fearing that my knees might implode, or my heart might stop beating, or my lungs might collapse...
right before the finish line. 
People are walking in front of me,
chit-chatting about la-di-da,
and I am in excruciating pain.  
I want to scream "get out of my way!" 
but I am so depleted I can hardly gasp for air. 
Just like that. 

I'm so afraid something will disrupt the completion of this chemo,
 I can hardly move, or talk, or blog.
 If all goes well, the last chemo begins next Monday. 

I am so desperate for it to be done by Christmas.... 

What an amazing gift that would be, for our whole family.

However, I will admit that the Christmas season is definitely serving as a beautiful distraction.  Our Arizona weather is actually COLD!!!  I have been wearing my winter coat in the mornings and scraping frost off my windshield!!  I love the Christmas lights everywhere and blaring carols in the car.   Every night before sleep, my jammied boys cuddle in my bed for a live broadcast Christmas show on ABC, or CBS, with commercials and everything, just like when I was little.

I let my boys decorate the Christmas tree this year, all by themselves.  I think I am going to leave it that way.  A few ribbons strewn around the middle and a bunch of ornaments clumped at the bottom.  They keep taking them off, looking and talking about them, and putting them back on.  It's sweet.  Sammy was so excited about unpacking the Christmas village houses, I told him he "could be in charge of them."  He set them up the way he wanted to, and is so proud.

I hope you all are enjoying the Christmas/holiday season. 

I can see the finish line ahead.  It would be nice to stop running, and breathe again.  And sing songs on Christmas without having to worry about chemo the next morning.  That would be

Please pray that it will be so.

Wow.  It's midnight.  Happy December to you all.


  1. It will be so! He will win in 2010!

    I let my girls decorate the tree too and I am leaving it that way as well. I love that 5 ornaments share one branch, I smile everytime I look at the tree. :)

  2. Soooooo praying that your Christmas wish comes true!! I hope this is all very soon behind you! HUGS! ♥

  3. Praying!

    I love when the ornaments are clumped at the bottom and the kids can take them off and play with them... (I hang the breakables up high though).

    So funny about you feeling nostalgic about the commercials now! Me too!

  4. 'Tis the season for miracles. Andrew himself is a miracle! Enjoy the frost and and the snuggles and your lovely tree.

    And keep your eyes on that finish line; we're watching and hoping with you.

  5. That would be an awesome gift!! Will send up a prayer for your wish to come true!

  6. So happy for you, Julie and for Andrew, of course. The race is almost over - I am praying for an amazing finish filled with happiness, good health and of course peace of mind - for you. Love the photos of the boys decorating your tree and kudos to you for leaving it "as is." My Mom would do the same thing - it didn't matter how sad the tree looked. A sign of an amazing Mom, I am sure of it.

    So glad that the holidays are serving as a distraction for you. Isn't Christmas great? I wish you were still in California. We could bake together or go running through the stores together like crazed mad women. Lol!


  7. I will definitely be praying that it will be so! :)

  8. Happy December to you too, Julie.

    It is my sincerest wish that you and Andrew reach that finish line before Christmas. What a marvelous gift that would be!


  9. May the Lord wrap His loving arms around you as you and little Andrew cross the finish line on Monday. Abundant blessings!

  10. Oh, I hope so! You and Andrew will be in my thoughts and prayers. What an awesome Christmas gift that would be. I honestly don't know how you are doing it and have no advice for you but hang in are almost there! XO

  11. Julie - a friend (and running partner) of mine, came across your blog by accident today and sent it to me. My 4 year old daughter, Sophia, was diagnosed with a malignant, aggressive tumor behind her eye as well - on 10/14/10. We do chemo every week, thankfully are here in Houston and close to Texas Children's and MD Anderson. We will start radiation after the first of the year.

    I am so GLAD to have found your blog and I will work on catching up. I have a few angry posts on my own blog and I will be praying for y'all - when I get a chance, which is not as often as it used to be!

    Thank you for speaking out and please feel free to get in touch if you want! We are only a month in, so any advice would be great!

    God is using you to encourage people even in the midst of all this- keep it up!

  12. As always you, yours, and andrew are always in my prayers Julie!!!!


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