In April, 2010, when Andrew was 2 1/2, a tumor was discovered behind his eye. The tumor was removed, but it was found to be an aggressive cancer. He endured seven months of chemo and six weeks radiation. In December of 2010, the day after his last treatment, he was rushed to the ER with an almost fatal bacterial infection. He survived.

He is now seven-years-old!! I don't visit here much, because during the ordeal, this is where I dumped everything--my rage, my fear, my sadness, my ugly, my hope, my everything. But I want all of you who supported and prayed for us to hear his updates. You helped me survive, and I am deeply thankful. Every once in awhile, I will check in to let you know how he's doing. Please continue to pray that cancer will never return to his body. Thank you.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Oxycodone, our new best friend

Just as I was about to pick up the couch and throw it out my glass patio doors for a few moments of rageful pleasure (you don't think I could do it?  you don't know how much adrenaline is rushing through my veins) Andrew discovered the power of oxycodone.  A strong narcotic.  A new leash on  life.

Monday and Tuesday were bad days.  My usually excitable, fun-loving, gregarious 2-year-old sat around with a sad grimace, asking for food and then crying when he couldn't eat even one bite.  He would hardly open his mouth to talk, let alone eat. And the rage in my stomach was growing more and more palpable each second.  Everyone was becoming my enemy.  The doctors (why hasn't anyone come up with a better cure for this!!!!!) the nurses (inadequate empathy!! "get some training people and wipe that half happy/half sad "empathic" smile off your face" (I only thought this, mind you) and anyone who looked at me the wrong way.  "Stay far far away, I am in a bad bad place" should have been pasted on my forehead.

On Monday morning I had been given a prescription for oxycodone, but the pharmacist had warned me that it would "knock him out."  Knock him out?  I don't want him "knocked out!" I want him to eat!  How can he eat if he is asleep!  So I was just giving it to him at night.  And then last night, as soon as I gave it to him, it was like magic. Like Prince Charming waking up Snow White with a kiss.  He was immediately talkative, and HUNGRY! Hooray.  So we went downstairs and I sat with him at the table for 45 minutes while he talked to me ( very animatedly) and ate his WHOLE BOWL of oatmeal. And three glasses of milk.  Then we went upstairs, put him to bed, and he slept.

This morning, once again, he looked miserable.  Gave him the oxycodone, and almost back to normal.  He is falling asleep here on my lap, but only after he ate half of a waffle (with flax seed) and almost a WHOLE BOWL of oatmeal.  And two glasses of milk.  Then he chatted the whole way to  (his brother's) school and sang "Breaking the Law" once again. 

Thankful for oxycodone, and my impulse control.  My couch definitely looks better INSIDE my house.


  1. Bless you Julie! and bless oxycodone!

  2. Hooray for talkative, animated children who eat and drink and sing!
    Hooray for oxycodone!

  3. Pain drugs definitely have their uses! And if it lets him sleep painfree, so much the better. But it's so good to see him eat! I'm so happy to hear this. =)

  4. Just found out about your little one...wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you and your family...So glad you found something to help ease the pain.

  5. Knowing that there is something to help him feel well enough to eat and chat is a wonderful thing. I'm happy for you! :)

  6. I'm so glad to hear you've found something that helps him. I'm thinking of you guys every day. xxx

  7. Hey Julie,

    Just wanted you to know I'm still out here and praying for your son.

    I remember these days when my son was in treatment too.

    Children are amazing, and thank GOD for drugs that help them.

    Keep holding on!!!

  8. Hooray for pain medicine that works, popsicles, waffles, tall glasses of milk, and Mom's lap to rest in! Hooray for a good day, a good hour, a good moment. Thinking of you and Andrew.

  9. I'm so glad to hear that you've found something that is making life a little easier...

    Good job on the impulse control.


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